Life is funny.

Up one minute and down the next our circumstances change in the blink of an eye. A loved one becomes sick, someone close to us betrays our faith or the dreaded C shows up in the family again. Life can be rocky.

And although time and age help to put things in perspective the reality is some of us are better able than others to handle the vagaries of life. When leading a large organization this resilience counts. When making a name for yourself as one of many individual contributors resilience counts.

And when navigating the trials and challenges of true love, resilience counts.

Here then a primer on the keys to resilience.


    • Without question a healthy lifestyle helps keep you going. The right diet, plenty of water, minimal alcohol and walking around a bit. Anyone can do it. As little as 30 minutes a day can not only help your body but in fact clear your mind. Get fitter and you will become more able to withstand life’s challenges.


    • How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Resilient people acknowledge problems and if need be they have a self-pity party. For one day. Then they break things down into the component pieces and take them on one piece at a time. Like the marathoner think of one step after another – not how far away the finish line is.

Ask for Help

    • It might seem counterintuitive but the strongest people ask for help. They say God never gives us more than we can handle: I think we never get more than we can handle with our friends. Resilient people ask for help as in assistance to get through a tough time. They don’t rely entirely on friends and they avoid the miasma of co-dependency. Asking for help is a sign of strength: show the world how strong you are.


    • Akin to asking for help is to stay engaged socially. Church, school, civic, professional, neighborhood and more all provide outlets for you to be engaged with others. Having multiple circles of friends and contacts can be a boon for those moments when life throws you a curveball. The time to develop these circles is before you need them. When things are going well, expand your reach and communities. Give before you get.


    • The one thing resilient people do that we all could benefit from today is this: they give themselves the gift of time. When they need space, they take it. Time to grieve? They use it. A day or a week to consider next steps after a painful experience? They allot that. Resilient people don’t compound challenges by rushing to decision, back to work or into a new relationship on the heels of a broken one. They allow time to wash over them so they don’t make emotional decisions. Time heals.

Resilience matters precisely because life can be so challenging and the multitude of relationships we have can be so demanding. Life isn’t overwhelming but it can seem that way if we haven’t mastered the art of developing resilience.

Take time for yourself my friends.




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